In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.
I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.
Ok def was not expecting this level of relatability
*submits this to the library of congress as a culturally, historically or aesthetically significant film*
[video description and CC: Leslie Jordan holds a leather journal and talks to the camera with a sweet Southern accent. He says “Well hello fellow hunker-downers, coming to you high on half an Ambien. [laughs] My doctor prescribes 10mg when I can’t sleep, and I get so wound up over all this! But I only took half, otherwise I’d eat everything in the house.
But look, another way I calm down is I write in my journal! [opens up journal and flips through, showing writing and stickers on every page]. And I put little stickers, I decorate! I’m a high school cheerleader stuck in a 65 year old male body.
My Violette stickers came today, look! Aren’t they beautiful? [holds up sticker sheets of fruits/vegetables, children in fancy dress, cats, and rabbits as he talks]. I think i fell out of the womb and landed in my mother’s high heels. I just like things pretty. I think homosexuals were put on this earth, just to make things pretty! Rabbits.” /end]
We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.
She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.
One of the funniest failures of US school system is the fact they are legally obligated to teach us all the states but they never actually show how big Alaska is like I have actually had teachers tell me that Texas is the biggest state. We have all just convinced ourselves that Alaska is that small shrunken down thing on most US maps and the people that know it’s the largest state can almost never accurately describe how large it is.
For context here is a picture
what
It has a national park that’s bigger than maine. Or Switzerland. A park.
I lived in Alaska for two years and I will never get over the sheer overwhelming bigness of it.
Nights where the sky is clear you can see clusters of stars or the Northern Lights dancing. When the lights are rippling especially strong and fast you can hear a static crackle in the air. When the moon is out after it’s snowed, you don’t need flashlights to see. Everything glows and glimmers like polished quartz.
But when the sky is clouded over so you can’t see the stars, you can kind of almost sense the mountains towering over you and helping to block out the light, these giant monoliths acting like this void darker than your soul. I’ve never experience night like Alaska night.
Everything is big, the mountains, the sky, the valleys.
Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go
